It's 2026 And I Just Watched Scary Movie For The First Time – These Are My Honest Thoughts

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As a lifelong horror movie fan and devotee of the late, great Wes Craven, I practically grew up on "Scream" and its first two sequels, and loved to wax rhapsodic about how clever they were as meta-commentary on the slasher film and horror in general. Before the series went on to birth four more sequels, the "Scream" trilogy had an awkward capper in "Scream 3," which, upon release, felt like the series' odd duck. The film's suspenseful, sure, but it also features Jenny McCarthy leaning into caricature, Carrie Fisher appearing as Not Carrie Fisher, Parker Posey doing her shtick, and a cameo from Jay and Silent Bob. "Scream" was always a satire, and though the third film wasn't intended as a comedy, it came pretty dang close to parodying itself.

That's a big factor in why I didn't bother seeing "Scary Movie," released the same year as "Scream 3" by the Weinsteins (clearly thinking they could play both sides against the middle, and being correct), since a full-on parody felt too redundant. "Scary Movie" also had an uneven reputation, to be charitable, with some finding it hilarious and others acting as if it ran over their boot. On the eve of the release of the new "Scary Movie," I took the opportunity to finally see what all the fuss was about, and discovered that all of the above applied. 

Director Keenen Ivory Wayans, actors/writers/brothers Shawn and Marlon, and the rest of the team stuff "Scary Movie" with so many gags that some hit hard while others land with a (literal) wet fart. It's a dubious film, one which is as superfluous as it is occasionally funny, and it's more commendable for bolstering the careers of Anna Faris and Regina Hall than for starting its own franchise.

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Given how popular "Scream" became, some type of parody was bound to happen. Not only did "Scream 2" and "3" take shots at themselves via the in-universe "Stab" movies, but another parody of the genre was released direct to TV in October of 2000: "Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th." While "Scary Movie" took the bulk of the attention and credit for poking fun at the trend, all of the above could explain why the film feels rushed and haphazard, as it's entirely possible that the Wayans and the Weinsteins were under pressure to be first out of the gate.

That's still not a good enough excuse for how thoroughly lazy "Scary Movie" is. The film nearly follows "Scream" beat-for-beat, sometimes even word-for-word. The effect feels like watching one of those fake "Stab" movies for real. The inclusion of a parallel plotline featuring scenes lifted from "I Know What You Did Last Summer" is not enough to compensate for the repetition, either. When "Scary Movie" starts getting a little looser and throws in moments from "Scream 2," "The Blair Witch Project," "The Matrix," and "The Usual Suspects," it manages to get a bit of a stew going, at least. Even so, the tone of the film is all over the place; it wants to be a goofy good time, yet there's a strange thread of bitter anger through it. 

Was Keenen Ivory Wayans actually angry about the cancellation of "The Wayans Bros." sitcom, as a couple of Ghostface killers reveal in the climax? Do the filmmakers have affection for these movies and/or this genre, or are they bitter at their popularity? "Scary Movie" isn't clear.

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There are a lot of nitpicks to make about "Scary Movie," but parody films have long felt critic-proof thanks to their zany, just-joking-around nature. In other words, no one expects a particularly deep story or characterizations (even when the best parody movies manage to deliver just that). Still, while "Scary Movie" is rampant with -phobic jokes a-plenty that have aged like milk, the most obnoxious thing about it is that it takes too much time telling (or re-telling, as it were) a story that it has no intention of supporting with any logic, emotional or otherwise. When "Scary Movie" is on a roll of pure goofiness, or when it happens upon a great concept that gets heightened like a good comedy sketch (Brenda in the movie theater is an all-timer), it's a gas. At all other times, it's eye-rolling at best, groan-inducing at worst.

Ironically, the franchise actually got both better and worse as the sequels rolled on. "Scary Movie 2" is, for my money, the best of the series, throwing so many references and parodies into the pot that the film feels exciting rather than a lazy rip-off. (The jokes are still hit or miss, but ah, well.) When the Wayans were unceremoniously fired by the Weinsteins and were replaced by David Zucker, one-third of the legends behind "The Naked Gun," the films became less crass but were still just as lazy and juvenile. This week's new installment may bring back the Wayans and stick to the series' formula (it's primarily a parody of 2022's "Scream"), yet there's a vibe of exuberance which is much more attractive than the original's acidity. Maybe a genuinely great "Scary Movie" is still out there, waiting to happen. I want to believe.